


That Sunny Room

by fourthduckling



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Explicit Language, M/M, Post-Chapter 049, Shaving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 13:04:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5830033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fourthduckling/pseuds/fourthduckling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin tries to shave himself. Levi takes over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Sunny Room

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for Chapter 49 of the manga. Rated for Levi's mouth.

Levi knocks before walking into Erwin’s room. It’s a formality, as he pushes it open before he hears his commander’s response. “I brought paperwork,” he says even as he notices the scene in front of him.  

Erwin is sitting upright on his rumpled bed, with a razor in one hand and a bowl in his lap. Levi freezes. For a fraction of a second, he wonders if Erwin is actually okay. The fear grips him from inside, uglier than the gaping grin of a Titan. Then he notices that his commander’s beard is very badly lathered, and he’s angry at himself for even considering Erwin taking the swift way out.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Levi asks, kicking the door shut behind him and throwing the papers onto a desk. They shift out, the stack tilting to the right. Levi wants to fix it, but he’s methodical about neatness. He’s already rolling up his sleeves as he crosses the floor to pluck the razor out of Erwin’s hand.

“I really don’t like having a beard,” Erwin confesses, letting him take the bowl, too. It’s filled with tepid water. That idiot.

“You should have asked a nurse to help you,” Levi said angrily, dropping the razor on a side table and taking the bowl over to the basin. “Your face will look like shit if you try this by yourself.”

“My face already looks like shit,” Erwin says, finding his way slowly to his feet. He straightens the sheets out on his bed and then sits on top of them. It’s a good thing. Neatness makes everything more bearable. “Besides, my left hand is my dominant one. I could have gotten by.”

“If by ‘gotten by’ you mean cut your own throat.” Levi fills the bowl with hot water and drenches a towel. This, he tosses in Erwin’s direction. He’s rather proud of his commander, who catches it easily in one hand with a wet slap. “Put this on your disgusting beard.” After a moment he turns. “And promise me never to grow one again.”

Erwin laughs, and Levi suddenly relaxes. It isn’t too strange, being in a domestic situation with his commander, but lately he’d felt more on edge when they were alone together. Erwin would get himself in the same state, more careful than nervous. Alert. Levi isn’t sure if it’s the intensity of the war or the tenuous political situation that has them both holding their breath around each other. In any case, it’s nice to feel like this day is normal. Erwin is like one of his ridiculous new recruits, too young and stupid to know what to do with themselves when they sprouted hair on their face.

Levi sharpens the razor while waiting for Erwin’s skin to soften with the hot towel. Then he whisks together shaving cream until it’s a decent texture. To his credit, he only hesitates a moment before applying it to Erwin’s existing beard. Not a single bit of hair should escape his notice, for his own sake as well as his commander’s appearance. No one wants to listen to a man with a patch of stubble that attracts too much attention.

“Stop smiling,” Levi says after a moment. “If you smile when I start shaving, I’ll cut you.” It’s a threat as well as a promise.

“So I have until you start with the knife,” Erwin says. He holds the wet towel in his good hand, running his fingers over the rough woven cloth. For a moment, his right arm twitches forward, as if he wants to hold the cloth in both hands. He doesn’t stop smiling.

“Stop smiling. This isn’t fun,” Levi says, but without force.

“It’s fun for me. I feel like one of your recruits.”

Levi places the bowl of shaving lather into Erwin’s lap. “Hold this,” he says, as he picks up the razor.

It’s bizarrely terrifying to scrape Erwin’s cheek with his razor. But more terrifying is the feel of Erwin’s pulse under Levi’s thumb when he stretches the skin to get a closer shave. And more still, the clean-pressed scent of him, the closeness, the way his eyes look amused even though his mouth remains still. He’s looking over Levi’s shoulder and out the window. His breaths are slow, deep, and even. The sun coming through the window makes Levi’s neck hot. He wishes he was wearing civilian clothes. Or at least had forgotten to put on his ascot.

Erwin lets out a breath, and his mouth twitches up. Levi grabs his shoulder, smearing shaving cream on his white shirt. “Stop moving,” he says quietly. This is when Erwin looks directly at him, eyes watching his face.

It’s the smell, really, that’s making him feel uncomfortable. If Erwin wasn’t so fucking clean, it wouldn’t be a problem. But somehow he’s kept up his own cleanliness despite the loss of an arm, and the precarious political situation they’ve been forced into. It’s admirable. But right now his cleanliness is making Levi feel awkward. Uncomfortable. That, and the heat.

Levi takes his time. This is awkward, but it doesn’t mean he has to do a bad job. For a while, the only sound is the hiss of the blade, and the soft patting sound as he follows after with the wet towel. The real problem happens when he’s done and doesn’t know what to do next. This problem should have a real answer, like getting Erwin a fresh towel to finish up or retreating to wash out the now filthy bowl.

He doesn’t want to. Instead he stands there, too close and too hot and with that ridiculous smile growing on Erwin’s face again.

After a pause way too long for delicacy, he says, “You’re done,” flatly.

“Levi,” Erwin says, his smile fading.

“You still look like shit,” Levi says, finally moving his gaze and gathering up the shaving implements. He’s still hot, damn whoever designed those windows. The bowl is warm in his hands, the towel cold, the razor sharp. He tries to focus on these things. “You need to eat more. And start training again.”

“Levi,” Erwin says again, reaching with his empty arm to catch at Levi.

They both stop, and Levi is suddenly so angry that he can feel it inside, a thick, roiling mess of fury caught in his stomach. This shouldn’t have happened. If Erwin had been more cautious, if they’d all been better at this, if there weren’t traitors, if the Titans didn’t _fucking exist_ \--

“Thank you,” Erwin says finally, his voice low and soft, like he is trying to calm down a nervous horse. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Through the rage, Levi’s able to choke out, “Yes, I did,” before  leaning forward and kissing Erwin so hard his mouth aches. It’s not a nice kiss, and Levi doesn’t feel nice when he realizes what he’s doing. He pulls back so fast that dirty water spills on Erwin’s leg.

This time, Erwin grabs his wrist with his living hand. More water spills. “Don’t.”

Levi thinks he can fly out of there. “Is that an order?” The heat from the sun is in his neck, his cheeks, his ears.

Erwin’s jaw tightens. “It’s a request,” he says, and he lets go of Levi’s arm.

To his own surprise, Levi stays. He drops bowl into the basin and washes off the towel. He cleans the razor and dries it, setting it neatly on the edge of the basin. He does all of these things while trying very hard not to notice Erwin changing into soft, clean pants.

This is not the time. It’s never the time. Maybe after the war is over, he’ll fuck Erwin before he kills him. Or maybe he won’t kill him. Maybe he’ll kiss him and then ride out under the trees and see all that shit that Arlert keeps talking about. Water made from fire and hills of sand and mountains so tall they’re always covered in snow. Now is not the time, with war brewing on several fronts, and people running scared. Now is not the time, with everyone starving and unhappy. Now that they have a fighting chance with Eren on their side, this is not the time.

Levi is so conscious of Erwin that he can feel him move close. But he doesn’t know what Erwin wants until he feels a heavy hand on his shoulder, turning him around. And then he’s kissed, his hands still dripping wet. It’s a nicer kiss this time. Erwin knows what he’s doing.

When they part, Erwin’s smiling. It’s just a little smile, a ghost at the edge of his mouth. “I’m glad you did that.”

“We can’t,” Levi says quickly. “Not with the war.”

“I know,” Erwin says, lifting his hand to touch Levi’s burning face. Erwin’s thumb goes over Levi’s cheekbone, and it’s probably the nicest thing he’s felt in his life. “Levi, when I find out everything…” Erwin stops and then says, “When we plug that gap in Shiganshina, then…”

“You’re looking pretty far in the future.”

Erwin lowers his head so that their brows touch. “Yeah.” His breath is bitter with the morning. He kisses Levi again, a soft kiss that barely touches his lips.

Levi wants to say something, to murmur how he feels against Erwin’s mouth. He wants to claim that life is short, and their lives are forfeit to a nation and they should grab every single second left to them. Instead, he leans up and puts everything into a final press of lips.

This time, it’s a good kiss, a hungry one, one to get them both through the days and nights ahead. It’s a good kiss to go out on, Levi thinks. If he dies in the next day, hour, moment, that he won’t regret this. And he won’t forget. “You’d better live,” is all he manages to say when they finally pull back. “I’ve got more to show you when we win.

His faith in Erwin’s curiosity is rewarded with a delighted smile. He has a dimple that Levi’s never noticed before.

When they both step back, Levi gestures at the paperwork. “Brought some requisition forms. Don’t forget the tea. Also Jaeger keeps destroying perfectly good pairs of pants, so we’ll need more.”

“I’ll see that these get sent through,” Erwin says smoothly. He uses his good hand to comb his hair back into his normal style. “Thank you, Levi.”

 "You already said that.”

“I mean it,” Erwin says, adjusting his clothes. “I feel better now that my face is clean.” He touches his own chin. “I’ll have to ask the nurse to teach me how to do it with only one hand.” He casts a look at Levi that’s almost shy but for a curious glint. “But paperwork first. Can you get someone to send up something to eat?”

“Yes sir,” Levi replies. When he leaves that sunny room, he finds himself thinking for the first time of the war’s end.


End file.
